Addicted
by WrittenAnonymous
Summary: "Do you..." Lily began, and decided to start over. "Have you ever..." "Have I ever tried what I sell?" Scorpius inquired. "Of course not," he continued. "not after I've seen what it does to other people. Not after I saw what it did to your brother." He cut her a sharp glance, his eyes lingering on her lips. "Besides, I'm addicted to something else." Lily flushed, looking away.
1. Chapter 1

Addicted

Chapter One:

It was funny, Lily thought, that her adoptive brother would let Victoire dress their daughter up as witch for Halloween. A witch, that's right – "stupid" was the only word to describe the costume of choice. If they were muggles, it would make more sense. A little three week old witch, complete with a wooden broom and a black pointy hat; adorable. Precious, even. Considering that baby Dora _was _a witch kind of killed any sort of sense anyone of the magical race would find in Lily's niece's costume. "It's so ironic_,_" Victoire had said, smiling, adjusting her baggy shirt in attempt to hide any obvious baby weight. Teddy, Lily's adoptive brother, had simply smiled as he bounced his sleeping daughter at his shoulder. Lily wondered if he thought it was as stupid as it was, or if he was blinded by the sheer... _irony _of it.

"Can somebody get me a drink?" Lily mumbled from her spot on the sofa, drumming her fingers on the armrest. The entire family was at the Burrow, celebrating Halloween. There was really no room for celebration, Lily thought, particularly because it was the anniversary of her namesake's death. Alas, Grandma Molly had slapped a giant feast on the table – delicious, of course, but it was all an attempt to cover up the gloomy truth of what had happened a month before.

Albus Potter had officially declared he was "finished with this family" and that he would do anything in his power to never see any of them again... ever. He hadn't been seen since. Of course, there had been an uproar. The _Daily Prophet _would not leave anybody in the family alone. They even went as far as to track down Harry's muggle aunt and uncle, inquiring about their devastation over their rebellious great nephew.

The letter they sent to the Potters' in response was absolutely lovely.

However, the _Prophet's _reaction was nothing compared to the actual family's. Ron had only returned from his attempt to find Albus the night before, while Hermione was busy insisting that the last person who should be looking for Albus was Ron, especially since the two never got along. Harry kept mostly silent about his son's absence, but it was clear that he was obviously pained – the two had been close for Albus's entire life. It was only the past year that any incidents had occurred, mainly due to the fact that Albus was kicked out of the Ministry's auror program after being caught with a vial of mutated Draught of Living Death. Any type of mutated potion was deemed illegal by the Ministry. Very, very, _very _illegal.

Lily could care less about Albus's spot in the auror program. The moment somebody had used the words "illegal potions" and "Albus" in the same sentence, Lily's heart had nearly stopped.

The Potters' had a hard enough time coming up with why Albus got kicked out of the auror program, let alone dealing with the fact that Albus was in possession of illegal potions. The _Prophet _never found out, but that was only a minor relief. While Albus had not been caught with any illegal potions since then, it still lingered on everyone's mind, particularly Lily's – Lily knew something that nobody else did. To everyone else, this was just viewed as unnatural Potter behavior; Potters were not caught with any sort of illegal substances. Unless, of course, they were second year Harry Potter in need of polyjuice potion.

Lily was suddenly tired, not wanting to think about what she knew, wishing she had never came to the Halloween party. It's not like she hadn't considered not coming, she just figured that if she did not show, they might think she had abandoned the family as well. Turning to her mother who sat beside her on the sofa, she said, "Do you mind if I go home, mum? I have class in the morning." As a medical student at St. Mungos, Lily used this tried and true excuse often. Her parents had never questioned it before, and they weren't about to start questioning it now. She was their golden child; Harry Potter's "princess" as the _Prophet _once called her. Lily snorted at the title.

"Go straight ahead, love," Ginny said, patting her daughter's knee and kissing her cheek. "Say goodbye to your father on your way out, though, dear... It's been a rough day." Lily did not need her mother to explain why it had been a rough day. Albus. Lily nodded and hugged her mother goodbye, as well as Hermione, Ron, Teddy, Victoire, Dora, James, Molly, Arthur, and what seemed like fifty other people. Finally, she stepped out of the front door of the Burrow to find her father leaning up against one of its walls.

"Are you off, then?" he asked when he saw her. He looked like he had lost about ten pounds since Albus's disappearance; his clothes hung around him like the bags that hung under his eyes. Her father's apparent lack of sleep was evident not only by that, but the limpness of his arms at his sides and how he nearly stumbled when he came to hug Lily.

"I'll be over for dinner soon, dad," she said, hugging him tightly. "Get some sleep, okay?"

Harry shrugged. "I'll try." He offered her a weak smile. "Lils, if you hear from your brother, send me a patronus."

"You'll be the first to get one," Lily reassured him for the millionth time in the past weeks. "Goodnight, dad."

She apparated to her little flat in Diagon Alley, grateful that she had managed to score a flat in a wizarding town, opposed to London where she wouldn't be able to apparate due to the noise. After unlocking the door and stepping inside, she kicked off her shoes and felt for the light switch on the wall. Lily heard a _click, click _as soon as she flipped the switch. The light flickered on, only to flicker right back off again.

She knew that clicking sound instantly. The deluminator. The very same deluminator that Albus had stolen from Uncle Ron's stash of "glory day" memorabilia. "You can turn the light back on, Al," Lily said dully. "There's no need to be dramatic. I'm not in the mood for theatrics, especially from you – not after what you've put us through these past few weeks."

_Click, click. _The lights came back on.

"Baby sister," Albus Potter said grandly from where he leaned against the counter in Lily's tiny kitchen. That was everything Lily's flat was – tiny. Her bed, sofa, and dining room table were all crammed into a tiny room, with the tiny kitchen stuffed in a corner of said room, and a door to the right of the kitchen leading into a tiny bathroom.

Lily rubbed her eyes tiredly, not feeling the full extent of her emotions just yet. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, while appraising him. He looked healthy. No visible scratches, bite marks, or gaping wounds. Lily took that as a good sign. His hair was overgrown and wild, as usual. His green eyes sparkled with rebellion, as they always did. Albus was basically the same as he was before he disappeared. _Excellent, _Lily thought. _He wants something. _She could tell by the way he held himself that he wasn't there to rejoin the family. He'd probably be in and out again, making some deal with her not to tell their parents.

"About," Albus responded, turning to inspect a tea pot on Lily's counter.

"Have you seen the _Daily Prophet _lately? They're mad about finding you."

"Ah, the _Prophet,_" Albus said, nodding, "yes... I've been a favorite of theirs for awhile." He began fiddling with the tea pot. It set Lily on edge. She stalked across the room and pushed his hands away before waving him to the sofa. He obeyed as Lily began to fill the pot with water. "Of course, you stay out of the spotlight, don't you, sis? The Potters' perfect daughter. The smart one. The brainy one. The med student. Simply lovely."

Lily shrugged. "I could be worse." She shot him a pointed glance.

He grinned. "It's all about the image. We've got you; the clever one. We've got James; the athletic one. Then we've got me... the rebellious one. It makes up for a good story, does it not?"

Lily did not respond.

"How is our family, by the way? I have kept up with the _Prophet, _if you were wondering, and I have a feeling that they haven't got the half of it right... as usual. For some reason I highly doubt that dad has adopted seven cats over the month to make up for my absence. That's almost as bad as the time they said James was planning on abandoning Quidditch in order to become a mime."

"I thought that one was true," Lily mumbled. Albus grinned. It lit up his face, and for a moment, Lily felt like they were just children again. It was quickly squashed when she remembered that he had been gone for a month without so much of a goodbye not. "Where the _hell _have you been?!" Lily asked once more, finally properly feeling _something. _"I hope you know you've completely torn our father to pieces, and mum's only hanging on by a thread! If James wasn't home on leave from Quidditch, I don't know what state she'd be in! Ron and Hermione are trying their damnedest to keep the cousins from letting something slip to the press, but there's so many of us that it's just a matter of time that one of your screw ups is made completely public! And I... Well, I..."

Albus's grand bravado began to disintegrate, Lily could tell. She knew that if she had so much as began to let him know that not only had he abandoned their parents, but her, his little sister, his best friend, that he wouldn't be able to hold up this facade for much longer.

Lily let out a deep breath. "Well, I've been quite alone since you've left."

"Lils..." Albus started, his already pale face paling. "I didn't leave you because I wanted to..." He seemed to remember something, and shut his mouth. "I... Listen, Lily. I'm not here to simply visit." Lily quirked an eyebrow. She had already guessed that much. "I need your help."

"I figured," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not giving you money, if that's what you need. If you've blown through whatever you took when you left – which I'm sure was a hefty sum – you need to talk to dad, not me. I'm not giving you a place to stay, either. I'm not hiding you from our parents."

"I don't want money or a place to stay," he reassured her. "I... well, I need more than that."

Lily began to feel uneasy. "And what is that?"

Albus glanced away from her. "I'm ashamed to ask this of you, sis..." Lily's heart sunk further as she waited for Albus to respond. "But... I know that out of everyone in our family, you and I are the closest by far. I know that you'll do this for me if you just... _see._" Lily finally saw the pain in her brother's eyes; it was a frantic pain, a desperate pain. Albus met her gaze with those pain-stricken eyes. "I need you to get me any healing potions you can from St. Mungos. Anything. I need the top notch stuff, Lils. And I... I need you to help me create a controlled potion." A controlled potion was the fancy term for a mutated potion.

"You... you need me to _what?_" She was appalled that he would ask such a thing. Especially when he had a past such as his.

"I've tried everything that's not medical," he said, standing up and grasping at the roots of his hair. He began to pace. "I've tried everything from Aunt Molly's potion that meant to stop the jitters, to a makeshift opposite of Draught of Living death..." Lily vaguely wondered if the mutated Draught of Living Death is what he was referring to. "I didn't plan on leaving, Lily," Albus said, suddenly changing to subject. "I didn't plan of having to abandon you all entirely... but I can't leave him alone. He's so sick. So, so sick..."

Lily crossed her arms – something she did when she was horrifically anxious. "Who, Al? Who are you talking about?"

He paused his pacing to look at her. "I can't tell you, Lils. I wish I could, but I can't."

"Then why are you asking this of me? Don't you have more respect for me than that?"

"What are you talking about? How am I disrespecting you?"

Lily's composure snapped. "You break into my flat and corner me, asking me to steal from St. Mungos – the place where I'm training to be a healer! A _healer, _Albus! Do you know the oath we take at the end of our schooling? As a healer I must be honest in everything I do, because people's lives will be in my hands! How can you ask me to jeopardize my career? How can you expect me to steal for you without knowing what your motives are? For all I know you could be hooked on pain numbing potions and you're only here to get your next fix!" Lily was breathing heavily. Albus looked like he had slapped her. And after Lily registered what she had said, she might as well have. "I will not steal for you." Her curiosity was burning, but she was not going to let it get the best of her.

"Please, Lily," he begged, walking across the room and taking her by the shoulders. "Please. I've never asked you of anything. Please. Please."

"What has gotten into you the past few years, Albus?" Lily asked without thinking to change her tone of voice. Her tone of voice implied that if he gave her answers, she would consider helping him. Which definitely wasn't the case... yet. "I need you to tell me what you've been doing. I won't tell the others. I just need it for peace of mind."

"You don't want to know," Albus said roughly. "I promise, you don't."

"The hell I do," Lily said sharply. "You owe me that. Even if I don't help you – which I'm not! - I deserve answers."

Albus took a deep breath, dropping his hands from Lily's shoulders. "I want to tell you, but if it leaks to the press, the whole family is done for."

"There is nobody in this room aside from you and me. Nobody will know."

"Please, Lily," Albus pleaded. "Just help me with this."

Lily's eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away angrily. "Will I ever see you again? Are you asking me to help you only to disappear again?"

Albus seemed to be thinking very hard. A muscle was working in his jaw. It reminded Lily of their father; when he was thinking particularly hard about something, he would clench his jaw to the point where it looked painful. "I miss you so much, Lils," he said finally, letting out the breath he'd been holding. "I miss everyone, but I miss you the most."

"Why don't you just come home, then?" Lily asked, grabbing his wrist.

"I can't. I have an obligation," he said angrily, pulling his wrist away. "You don't understand."

"An obligation to who, Albus?" Lily demanded. "You don't have obligations to anybody beside our family!" Lily realized that she was never going to get through to him. Not tonight, anyway. Lily knew that she had to do something – Albus wasn't the only one who obligations to their family. She was quiet for a long moment. "Tell me why you need me to steal for you. Just give me the basis premise."

Albus was silent.

An idea was quickly beginning to form in her head. She knew that if she went through with it, she would probably lose her place in the medical program at St. Mungos; not because she was a thief, but because lack of attendance.

"Take me with you," Lily said quickly. "Take me with you and let me help you there."

"I can't do that," Albus said, shaking his head, but she knew her brother well enough to know that he was already considering it. From what he had said earlier, who ever he was trying to help was in extreme medical danger. There was two things Lily had on him; she had access to potions at St. Mungos, and she had medical experience. Though she may be an amateur, it was better than nothing. It was better than nothing and _he knew it. _

"Please," Lily said. "Please, Al. I love you and I want to help you."

Pain flashed in his eyes. "I know, Lil. I just... I don't know if you can this time." _This time, _Lily thought, remembering the last time. _This time... _

"Rubbish," Lily declared. They stared each other down. Finally, Lily whispered, the sick feeling she'd managed to ignore since her brother's disappearance finally crashing into her like a wave. "Who is it?"

Albus smiled ruefully. "That, most of all, dear sister, is what I can't tell you. And you know why."

And she knew. It was _him. _For some unfathomable reason, _he _had been the only one able to get Albus through his rough final days at Hogwarts, the ones Albus swore to this day he could not remember. _He _and Lily had worked day in night with Albus in the abandoned wing of the dungeons, witnessing and tending his screams of pain and longing, with the occasional help of Headmistress McGonagall.

A time from long ago suddenly flickered into her mind. A flash of platinum blond hair, stuck to a pale forehead with sweat, and slate gray eyes glancing up at her, never betraying any emotion, as he helped her hold her brother down as he writhed in agony...

"I don't know why you can't tell me," Lily said finally. "I don't know why you can't say his name."

"I..." Albus shrugged. "I just can't. I find no need to tell you, especially since you already know."

"What business do you have with him, Albus?" Lily snapped.

Albus looked astonished that she would even ask such a thing. "You know that, too. I owe it to him."

Lily's heart nearly stopped. She had put together the pieces. _He's so sick, _Albus had said. Why was she so stupid? Why had it taken her so long to realize that the two went together? "What's wrong with him?" Lily asked. "How... how ill is he? Is he going to survive?"

Albus glanced away. "I don't know what wrong with him. Nobody does. That's why I need you're help."

Lily had made her decision, only because her curiosity for the boy had been so overwhelming since the last time she had saw him helping her brother off his death bed. "I will help you, on one condition. You absolutely must take me with you."

**A/N: **

**Hey guys...:) Okay, I definitely owe you all an explanation, especially because my reappearance in the fanfiction world was _not _with another chapter of Lilium Stargazer. Right, well, all I can say about that is I literally had no time and lost all motivation to write. This past school year has been absolutely hectic. But, a couple nights ago I was in a car accident with one of my best friends, and I had spent like two weeks debating whether or not to post this because I didn't know if I'd be able to finish this story, and after that car accident, I decided that I should at least try. **

**So on that not, like I always say, I don't know if this will go anywhere. But we'll see what happens. And we'll talk about Lilium Stargazer on another day.**

**Love you all dearly.**


	2. Chapter 2

Addicted

Chapter Two:

Strawberry blonde. That strawberry blonde hair was absolutely stunning.

Scorpius Malfoy watched from the stairwell as Albus Potter led his baby sister into the cruel and corrupt world the two men shared. She looked just as she had when she was fifteen, but her body was now outlined as a young woman. Lily Potter had always been pretty, even as a girl, but now she was simply breath-taking. He continued to watch her as they disappeared from the grand foyer and into the hallway that branched off into separate rooms. Scorpius had only managed to get one glimpse of her, and he was dying to see her again.

_Dying. _What an awful word to toss around so loosely.

The young Malfoy did not look like he was dying. In fact, he looked more healthy than most people. Not only was he healthy, but he was handsome. In another life, he would have been a desired bachelor. He was tall and lean, with wiry muscles lining his body. Scorpius had a strong jaw and a perfectly sculpted nose; traits he had inherited from his mother. He had gained his father's pink lips and gray, almond shaped eyes. His face was not sunken in with illness, nor was his hair thinning. If he had walked the streets, nobody would suspect that a few hours after sundown he would weaken in a matter of minutes.

Deciding he had better greet his guest before his illness took over, Scorpius descended the staircase of Malfoy Manor and followed the voices he heard in the kitchen. Despite Albus's loud voice, Scorpius only heard Lily's soft, calm one, which stopped as he stepped through the entry way. Her mouth snapped shut and she stared at him with big eyes. Scorpius was having trouble remembering to breathe as he saw her face up close for the first time since his seventh year at Hogwarts. She still had a smattering of freckles, which he had always found endearing. However, the other things he had once found endearing were much more than that. Her pouty lips and sloped nose were now enhanced by extremely defined cheekbones, and her wide blue eyes did not hold as much innocence as they once did. Her face was not the only thing that had changed – her body had, too. She was still very slight, but she had gained the hips and chest that every woman would envy.

Beautiful.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Albus asked quickly, stepping forward and grabbing Scorpius by the wrist, feeling his pulse. Scorpius resisted every urge he had to roll his eyes. If he didn't have a pulse, he would be dead. Clearly. Lily watched the two interact curiously, raising an eyebrow. "It could be any minute now, and I'll have to drag you up to your bedroom. You have even said if you're relaxed when it begins, it's not as bad."

"I lied," Scorpius said openly. "It's always bad."

Albus sighed.

"Are you going to reintroduce me to your sister?" Scorpius asked, his eyes never leaving Albus's.

"I assumed that the two of you don't need any reintroductions." Albus stared at Scorpius meaningfully. He was probably right, considering Scorpius and Lily had spent the better half of Scorpius's seventh year together, tending to Albus as he withdrew from pain numbing potions.

"That's true," Scorpius said, "but I did specifically ask you not to get her directly involved in this."

Albus shot him a sharp glance.

"Don't speak of me as if I'm not here," Lily finally spoke. "I forced him to bring me. I said I wouldn't help you if he didn't." Scorpius turned his gaze to her and met her eyes. Feisty little thing, she always had been. She never lied, even if the truth was harsh. That was one thing he remembered very clearly about her; even in Albus's darkest days, she never spoke to him as if he was a victim. She let him know the horrific truth, that being the fact that he was the one that had latched on to the potions, the potions had not latched on to him.

Scorpius tried to look as if he was appraising her, when in all truth, he just did not know what to say to her. He had always had twisted feelings about Lily Potter, mainly because he had only thought she was incredible in every aspect – physically, mentally, socially. The days they shared at Hogwarts proved that much. She was easily the most desired girl of her year by everyone, students and teach alike. Scorpius had always been tongue tied around her, and nothing had changed since his last year at school.

Of course, Scorpius had been popular in his own way, as well. He had been the resident bad boy, and not for your typical reasons. _Not _something he wanted to relive at the moment. "I should have guessed that much," Scorpius had finally responded. "You were always where Albus was. I assume it was only a matter of time before you followed him here, as well."

"I didn't follow him here," Lily said stubbornly, raising her chin. "I came here as a favor."

"Right," Scorpius responded, shifting his weight. He was beginning to feel the familiar sensation in his fingertips – the start to the end of his night. It would begin the tumble down hill very quickly from here. "Well, whatever helps you sleep at night." He was beginning to feel very warm, and beads of sweat were beginning to form on his brow.

Albus was watching him. "Let me help you upstairs."

"Al, don't you want me to look at him? If I can just get a feel for what he's experiencing-" Lily began.

"No," Scorpius said sharply, trying to hide the fact that he was short of breath. Lily would not see him this way, not as long as he could help it.

Lily jumped, obviously startled, and looked at her brother for help. "Not tonight, Lily," Albus said. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, then we'll discuss further action. A house elf will be down to lead you to your room." Scorpius's stomach was beginning to roll with nausea, and he could feel his thin shirt sticking to his back with sweat. Albus took hold of his upper arm and led him out of the room.

…

"Would Miss Lily like a biscuit?" a squeaky little voice asked from the doorway of Lily's assigned bedroom.

Lily looked up from her large book of potions and remedies to see a tiny house elf standing in the entryway with a silver platter of tea and crumpets. Pushing her hands through her hair, Lily smiled and nodded. She had always had a soft spot for house elves, mainly because she had grown up with one her entire life. Kreacher was his name, and he still lived with her father and mother in the Potter Manor. _This _house elf was named Verney. He was quite young for a house elf, and if Lily was guessing by the state of his massive ears, he had been punished more often than praised.

Verney scurried into the bedroom and sat the tray down on the table next to her armchair. He blinked his huge eyes at her curiously before pouring the tea into a white tea cup. "Master Malfoy granted Miss Lily the most pleasant room in the entire manor," Verney informed her matter-of-factly, as if he was just beginning to tell a tale. "He told Verney, he did, that if Verney did not find the most pleasant room for Miss Lily, that he would free Verney." Verney shuddered violently.

Lily resisted the urge to smile, for she knew that it was quite a morbid thing to find funny. "When did you speak to him?" Lily asked. The sun had come up an hour or two ago, and there had been no sign of Scorpius since the night before. All night, the manor had been eerily silent, and Lily assumed it was because everyone, house elves and people alike, were tending to Scorpius.

"Verney spoke to Master Malfoy as Master Potter was leading him to his bedroom," Verney said, nodding as he began to inspect the side table for any signs of dust. "Master Malfoy was becoming very ill very fast, he was, and he gave Verney the responsibility of taking care of Miss Lily." He straightened up from his inspection and puffed out his chest proudly and smiling a thin but triumphant smile. "Verney is Master Malfoy's most treasured house elf, Verney has heard him saying."

"I understand why," Lily said kindly, taking a biscuit from the tray and offering it to Verney.

Verney promptly burst into tears and ran from the room. Lily watched in an amazed sort of interest, knowing that if she had offered Kreacher a biscuit he would have taken in, badgered her for another, then proceed to spout passive aggressive nonsense before creepily walking out of the room. Lily sighed.

She had just looked down at her book again before Scorpius stepped into the room, and leaned against the doorway. "Fidgety little bastard, isn't he?" he asked, shaking his head. Lily stood up, startled, and her book hit the floor. Notes from her classes flew from between the pages, scattering everywhere.

"Mr. Malfoy," she said quickly. "I'm sorry. How are you feeling?"

He looked like he was fine. If anything, he looked slightly hung over. But other than that, he was dressed just as nice as he had been the night before - even if slightly more casual - in dark washed trousers and a white cotton shirt. His hair was in a messy disarray around his head, but Lily could tell he had probably purposely styled it that way.

"Mr. Malfoy?" he asked, looking at her as if he didn't recognize the name. He leaned out the doorway, seeming to expect to find another Mr. Malfoy lingering in the hallway. "Oh, you're talking about me. I thought you were referring to my father."

Lily knew very well that he was just being ornery. She ignored his nonsense. "How are you feeling?" she asked again, stepping over the mess her book had made on the floor.

He glanced around the room. "I should be asking you the same question. You came here yesterday evening, only the be left alone all night in a manor that your father, aunt, and uncle were killed in nearly four decades ago. It wasn't just a little bit unnerving? What did you do?"

"I studied." Lily gathered her hair to one side and twisted a lock around her fingers. To be honest, Lily had been quite uncomfortable. The bedroom was extremely well kept, that was true. The large wooden canopy bed held blood red curtains and bed coverings, and the window that looked out over the back courtyard had drapes to match. It actually reminded Lily of the Gryffindor dormitories, which was only slightly comforting. "I didn't leave the room... or turn out any of the lanterns."

Scorpius smiled.

"Is there a reason you're here... er...?"

"Scorpius," he responded. He stepped closer to her, and for a moment, she was struck at how truly handsome he had become over their years apart. Scorpius had always been an attractive boy, no doubt, but now he was a young man. A very attractive young man. He stepped around her. "You used to call me by my name, Lily."

"Yes, four years ago," Lily responded. "That was a long time ago. And under very different circumstances."

"Not so different," Scorpius said quietly as he stepped around her to gaze out the window, so quietly that Lily wondered how many meanings his words had, if they had any meaning at all. Before Lily could respond, Scorpius answered her question. "I'm here to greet you, since last night was cut short. As you've said, four years is a long time and I want to know how you're doing."

"I'm well," Lily said stiffly, wondering what this was about. He presence made her nervous; this was not the Scorpius Malfoy she had known in school. She distinctly remembered him having so much life to him, so much eagerness... Granted, he was now sick with an illness apparently nobody could diagnose, but Lily had always assumed that regardless of Scorpius's circumstances, that flame would never go out.

"I can tell," he said, nodding. "You've changed quite a bit."

"As have you," Lily said nodding, tugging at her hair some more. Lily had no clue what to say to him... The last time they had spoken was his last day of school. They had been getting ready to board the train to go home, and he had pulled her aside, behind a small wooden building...

_"Lily," he said, taking her arm and pulling closer to him than he normally would if they were in public._

_ "Hello," she said breathlessly, glancing behind her, surprised. She was waiting for one of her cousins to show up and demand what she was doing with Scorpius Malfoy. "I haven't seen you in awhile." It was true – it had been a week since she had spoke to him. Albus had finally been able to last without getting sick from withdrawals, therefore she and Scorpius had been able to resume a normal class schedule. She smiled at him, and he took on a pained expression._

_ "I know," Scorpius said, twisting a misplaced lock of Lily's hair between his fingers. Lily's cheeks colored. _

_ "Did you need something?" she asked, meeting his eyes. Scorpius's pained expression was outright now._

_ "Lily," he said, "I know I said that after graduation, we would be able to talk... about... about what went on between us when we were helping your brother." Lily felt like somebody had punched her in the stomach. She wasn't an idiot. She knew exactly where this was going, and she felt completely mortified over the fact that she had allowed herself to even hope._

_ Lily moved his hand away from her hair, that hair she knew he loved so much. He had told her. "You don't have to say anything, Scorpius," she said, sounding stronger than she felt. "I understand. I... well, I've been thinking about it too, and I agree that it probably would not have worked out." She was lying through her teeth. She had been willing to make it work. She would have forced it to work if she had to. "My parents... Well, you know my parents. They would be absolutely livid." _

_ "Lily-" His voice was too loud in her ears. _

_ "No," Lily said, suddenly angry. He had made promises to her, and in turn she had given him everything; not against her own will, obviously, but he knew exactly what he was doing when he accepted those things. "Don't try to explain yourself. I understand. I mean, what else did we expect? We were forced to be together for days on end. Of course we would feel the need to try things out." She felt like she wasn't making any sense, and she knew that as she continued talking, it would only get worse._

_ "Lily, please, I don't want it to end like this-"_

_ And that was it. He had finally admitted that he was_, _in fact, ending it. It was in that moment that Lily realized as she spoke, she had been waiting for him to interrupt her, tell her that no, he wasn't ending it, that they only needed to arrange how they were going to stay in contact, when they would see each other, how they'd hide it from their parents. When that last thread of hope was gone, Lily went numb. _

_ "I have to go," she said quickly. "My cousins are waiting for me on the train. Thanks for your help this year, Scorpius, really... I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."_

_ Lily spun on her heel and hurried toward the train, praying that he wouldn't follow her._

_ He didn't._

"Lily," Scorpius's voice cut into her thoughts once more. "Lily, are you listening to me?"

Lily snapped out of her thoughts in an instant, praying that she hadn't paled too much after reliving that horrific experience. "I'm sorry," Lily said. "What were you saying?"

Scorpius looked troubled. "I was wondering if you'd like to meet me in the courtyard later, but if it's too much to ask, I understand." Lily's heart hammered against her chest. She recognized the unsure tone of his voice. He used it when he did not how far he she go, or if he was allowed to. He had used it many times with her back at school, and hearing it now tore her heart to shreds.

Lily swallowed. "No, of course I will... We need to talk about your symptoms anyway."

His face brightened for the first time since Lily had arrived at the manor. "Excellent," he said, abruptly straightening up and walking toward the door. "I'll meet you there just before sundown. We should have a few hours before I need to be upstairs."

"I'll see you then," she said, but he was already gone.

**A/N:**

**alksdjfaklsdjfaksdf. Okay, there's definitely going to be more flashbacks. But yeah. Thanks for your reviews and I really hope to hear from you about this chapter! **

**:)**


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